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These doubtswere rare but did happen every now and then. Most of the time my moodwas steady and I was happy with the balance we had between my twopersona, but every now and then due to my hormones, my mood would swingsuch that I didn't fancy cross dressing at all, in fact I hated it, andsometimes it would swing such that I could not get enough of beingfeminine and would use any excuse to cross dress. During these times Iwould lay awake at night imagining being a complete woman and having asex change and fantasised that Babs and I living together as two women.I never told Babs of these fantasies but I did confess to her my moodswings. Babs reckoned these were my periods. When I was off crossdressing Babs called this a blue period and it was true these moodswings usually lasted five or six days. When I got the urge to be morefeminine Babs reckoned I was having a pink period. After either of thesemood swings I would get back to normal for weeks or months."You are not a freak, your boobs. One of the experiments I used was to paint her with the same color I saw other people expressing, and see how she felt. Anger was easy and she felt it instantly. I already knew fear and contentment, but we verified those. I learned or verified worry, eagerness, hope, amusement, and relief.One of the most interesting was when I asked her if I could try painting her with a color I had seen on lots of men when they looked at her. It was the color I had called “interest” and gotten rid of, routinely. She said okay and I got my mental hands wet with that color on them and massaged her brain.“Stop!” she moaned.“What is it?” I asked. We were used to doing this, and she usually took notes.“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.“Come on,” I coaxed. “You know you can’t do that.”“It’s not normal!” she groaned.“It’s not something you chose to feel,” I reminded her. “I put it on you.”“I felt it one time, a long time ago,” she said. She shook her head. “Make me horny, please?”“What?”“Like you.
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